thoughts for ya

If your a true parent and your dedicated to your child, you shouldn't be that available to pursue a real relationship or be available to be pursued. Fun is fun. BS is BS but real relationships take real time to unfold beautifully. Also make sure your truly done with the past or you will bring it with you to your future and that causes you bs. Don't be afraid to truly let go. One must let go in order to truly grow. You are doing yourself, your child and others a disservice if you walk the line. In the end, even if you feel like your being respectful, really your just causing hopefulness that turns to unnecessary grief.
If your always available, you must be desperate or not truly into being the parent that you say you are. You will get what you put out. Fast, fun, no depth, over and done, next!  If one is impatient, they are not one who truly understands what a true parent is or what that is about. Do you really want them in the end? Patience, understanding, friendship, being real and spending time thats what its about. Quanity or quality? thats the question. I say Choose Quality. It last longer!

Play

Last night  my son and I were wrestling and play fighting. I love tumbling with him. He got some hard kicks and punches too, so workin it out on punching bag is working, lol. Playing and laughing is one my greatest enjoyments and brings such happiness to my life. Playing with our kids, no matter if its games, wrestling, or outside but playing together is so important and brings much pleasure. The art of play. Using imagination, creativity and just each other is enough for hours of fun. Play often!

Flash Card Practice

Flash cards with kids is so important to reinforce skills being learned and help them to retain. Math adding and subtracting. Words, especially words that do not make "sense" phonically in our English language help to keep them on track. Asking your child how they are figuring out the math problems by asking them to talk it through out loud helps us parents be able to help them when we know verbally how they are thinking things through. This also helps build their confidence in themselves and reinforces all of what they know. Make sure there are plenty of positive words and encouragement as this helps build their abilities and self esteem. Tell them how hard they are working and how proud you are of them. Kids need words or encouragement, skills to help themselves, self talk that is positive that they can pull from and lots of practice to be the best they can be!

how old do you let a child be on their own? go to the park, walk to school? take care of self and others?
I as a single  mother, love the stories of my grand father and the selflessness, hard work ethic. i truly love the conversations and realities! wow, maybe I  need to let go!

Tired of the Blame Game

Why is their an achievement gap and where does it begin? It begins in the home. Parents need to stop putting self first, stop blaming others and expecting others to do their job. It doesn't matter how many kids you have. You choose to have them. It doesn't matter how many hours you work, many parents work long hard hours and raise wonderful children. Why? Because they parent their children. They take parenting as the most important job. They put everything they have into their children. Values, Beliefs, Social Skills, Respect, Responsibility, Accountability and high Expectations. Support, Encouragement and giving each child individual attention, one to one relationships, Experiences and Love is foundations for life. Teaching a child life skills from the start is how we close achievement gap. There wouldn't be one in beginning if all these things were done before they entered school. Learning abilities are only part of a child's success but how strong a foundation one has determines how far a child can go. Parenting does not stop when a child enters school. It never stops. We are always teaching our children. We must walk with them every step of their path until adulthood, than let go gradually and trust our job has been done well but we never stop teaching or being there. They need us until we are no longer here. I am tired of the blame game! How do we make excellent school for all? How does each child get a excellent education. Parents! Parents are the Educators. Parents are responsible for who they are, who they bring into the world and how they raise them up. The better equip students are who show up to school each day, the better the school environment is. The better foundation teachers have who really want to teach and are dedicated to teaching because they were raised with the passion and work ethic, the better the schools are. Everything starts with and ends with Parental Responsibility.

salt that tenderizes

We must  live a flavorful life. Be the salt that tenderizes the toughest of souls and adds bold, spicy, full flavor to all. We must get in where we fit in and not be the vocal complainer who does nothing but add noise to the room. We must be bold, stand tall, rise up, lead and let our light shine through. As we do and live this way, we  help our children do the same. We must let our spirit guide us so we are able to help others find their light and understand who they are, be proud of themselves and love themselves and each other.  The right amount of salt and light is the balance of a beautiful full happy life.

Rondo Area Meeting Gives Voices To Community

Sonia Sanchez & Dr. Julianne Malveaux

The new school year will begin in a couple of weeks, and a local group of parents are asking what it will take to provide excellent education for every child in every neighborhood.

Neighborhoods Organizing for Change (NOC) held an open discussion Saturday, August 13, at Rondo Library in St. Paul. According to NOC organizer Kerry Felder, it was the first in a series of meetings scheduled in the next couple of months.

“The purpose [of Saturday’s meeting] is to develop a conversation” on the importance of good schools for all, said Victoria Balko, who lives in North Minneapolis and is a mother of one. Many who attended the 90-minute morning session expressed their concerns about the present state of education.

Schools should help all children adjust to life, believes Zong Choua Thao, who lives on St. Paul’s East side.

Brian Smith is a father of two high schoolers and a pre-schooler. “I’ve been involved in my children’s education since the beginning,” he noted, adding that other parents who started out the same but grew frustrated with the attitudes of some educators and administrators toward Black parents who feel “devalued and ignored so much.”

A grandmother told of her experience with school officials in not adequately meeting her grandchild’s educational needs, which resulted in her asking for an emergency transfer to another school. She added that a “teacher bond” with children is necessary for classroom success.

Others complained of uneven handling of discipline, especially when it comes to Black students and other students of color. “Look at the suspension rate, and you can see the unfairness of the Black children versus the White children,” said parent Shatona Groves, who attributed this to a lack of cultural competency among teachers.

“These teachers aren’t teaching,” noted Tonia Collins, a substitute teacher. She strongly supports the idea that more Black teachers should be hired. “I’m hoping that this is going in the right direction, that they will start looking at teachers of color,” Collins pointed out. “If you look around the school and everyone is White, and no one looks like you, how can you relate.”

Collins also believes that a maximum of 25 students per classroom is best, and that each classroom has a teacher’s aide as well.

However, famed educator Mahmoud El-Kati told the group that too much talk is being spent discussing large class sizes and poor test scores as prime reasons why schools aren’t working for our children. “I don’t agree on what you’re talking about,” he pointed out. “Someone’s got to question the American ideology. The system is defining that White people are smarter than Black people. We got to change this fundamental basis because it produces false consciousness.”

Felder added that El-Kati’s comments were very timely. “I’m glad of what he said,” she admitted afterwards.

“Our goal and intent was to have an honest, engaging conversation,” noted Balko, who is chairperson of the NOC’s education committee.

NOC Executive Director Steve Fletcher said that “real tough questions” must be asked of school officials. “I thought this was a real good meeting,” he surmised. “People came with some real strong experiences… We heard some real passion and want to make positive changes in schools.”

Felder said that NOC contacted 400 persons either in person, by phone or by email over a two-month period earlier this summer and asked questions on education. “We had a 90 percent response rate,” she reported, adding that the survey results are still being tabulated with plans to release its findings at a September 24 meeting.

“I think that the people at NOC have good intentions about what they want for our children, which is a quality education for all of our children,” said Smith. “However, I [am] a little bit reluctant when we are still pushing more for others to treat us more fairly. I think that the primary consideration should be to find the resources to educate and take care of our own children in our own school environment.

“We should begin to educate our own children and get the results that we want as opposed to continuing to look to others to do that for us,” he concludes.

Charles Hallman welcomes reader responses to challman@spokesman-recorder.com.